George Clooney is dreamy

Dude, The Chang is having a lecture on finite element analisis that is gonna litterally blow minds bitches. i mean it is going to melt my very face off. the man is 5' 6" but his brain is like at least 6' 2.5" and looks like george clooney, but what makes it better than george clooney is that it looks like george clooney at the exact time you thought he was most attractive. killer. if you dont like george clooney then it changes to look like gary buesy, because you suck. clooney rules.

so im sitting here, in the smallest cubicle on my floor... next thought

i think i will get a picture of just george clooney on my desktop... i honestly am only using him in this blog because he is like the universially time-transcending attractive dude, i think is nice, but i only like him as a friend. BUT how awkward would that be? can you get fired for a clooney shrine? i bet you could if it was like a marylin manson shrine. i guess theres just someting about clooney that is very shrine-esque, and when people walk by, instead of leaving for the day because they dont want me looking at them anymore, they think to themselves "yea, i really liked him in oceans 12 because he wore that white shirt and there was french music in the backround." MAYBE i would walk around and EVERYONE would have a picture of george clooney on their backround! holy!

....sorry got carried away, its just once you start thinking about the man your mind takes you places (i hope i dont end up on the news for this, it is a joke, before you know it they will be cropping my head on to pictures of gollum from lord of the rings and putting clooneys face where the ring is)

anyways. today is casual friday. but when you start here they come by and say "we have these shirts for you to wear if you want on friday, you get one for free, you dont have to feel obligated to wear it, but we thought it was kind of a team building thing, do what you want, i will be wearing mine along with the rest of the 454 people that work here, do what you want, its totally up to you.... wear the shirt or die. totally your call man, were cool like that. peace out yo."

so im wearing the damn shirt. Thankfully maroon is my color. Brings out my freckles.

im seriously thinking about turning my cubicle into a fort, it would be a totally kick-ass fort. you dont even know. i could watch movies, cheetos, hide under the desk.... no i dont already do that

well i have 3 minutes left on lunch, im gonna play hearts.

Generally Wrinkled

Walking into the office with a bike that clicks is like going to pride fest, eventually someone is going to talk to you and its gonna be awkward. "calling all engineers, you wouldnt believe how light this bike is, come pick it up, all of you!" I got to work ten minutes early for the second day in a row (send your cookies and praises to my home address, please), and instead of taking 10 minutes of "jim time" in my cubicle to do a few hot laps in my chair and kick my feet up like a hot-shot important person who is all endearing and saves the environment by riding to work (...cars broke) while the girls (...all guys on this floor, actually) swoon over my social awareness, I had my own little impromptu show and tell, and then wrote a rediculous run-on sentence. The best thing was when one guy turned to another guy who actually does bike to work, hits his arm, and goes "Ill bet jim here could kick your ass... like alot" heh, thank you 35 year old man, i appreciate it.

On the way to work i rode past my future; some person laying on a lawn bed chair thing in a bathrobe with curlers in, asleep at 6:30 in the morning with people magazine on her face. i hope she was there the whole night. hey, i could have curlers.

My shoes sound like high heals when i walk. its really embarassing when i walk on the tile floors and engineers pop up like gophers because they think a girl is walking by, throws your bathroom groove off a bit. guys, we have to think of a new reason besides streching when we want to stand up and look over our cubicle walls (i know you all do it), but it looked like the damn wave at miller park: slow mo.

Today, even my socks are wrinkled.

I made the decision to not repeat yesterday's preformance of three 32 ounce water bottles drank along with a hot green tea (berry flavored, tastes like my grandma smells, i will never get it again). I got the hot green tea because i am catching a cold from my cubicle, and although the water did lead to more bathroom breaks, it also led to a very uncomfortable half of the ride home in the rain, where i just eventually hid behind a dumpster (glad im a guy), because if i hit another bump, i may have seriously died.

nothing to exciting at work today. i did NOT almost fall asleep in my supervisors cubicle, again.

hope you are all having a nice day, im gonna play hearts.

I want to be back in bed

Totally stoked about the metal ruler with the cork backing i scored this morning when i raided the supply closet. Also aquired; post it notes, a blue pen, and a black pen. Tight.

I struck it off to a great start when they told me my computer wouldnt work until i was officially hired, i informed them that i would be offically pissed if they decided i wasnt fit for the job, considering the debt and all. good news! i am now an offically an employee. First things first, sign on. no dice. thats ok, i will call the help desk, unfortunatly earlier a dude walked into my cubicle, unplugged my phone, took it, and left without ever saying a word. welcome to work. On the up side, The Chang remembered me, told me he was smarter than me, and we went our seperate ways.

met my new supervisor. you would really hope that the head engineer of a big-bad-kickass-boomer of a shovel that could litterally dig the hole for your house in one swoop would be all tatted, up smell like smoke, spit on your shoe, and wear a sleevless dress shirt with one of those fish ties... because thats badass. but he is alittle more soft spoken, which is ok. its not badass... but it will do.

you know, there really arent many tatted up people here, engineers are pretty fragile, i dont think they could handle the ink. besides, engineering tatoos are really uncool to start with. or like "yea, i got that one back after a wild all-nighter, man, we ate like 3 bags of cheetos and seriously took down a case of dr. pepper. oh the good old days."

well so far today i rode my bike the 13ish miles to work and because i got up so early (still dark outside) i am tired. so that is the end of this for now.

I am so excited for my cubicle

Ive waited all summer, and its finally here. My very own cubicle. Complete with file drawers, file closets, file slots, a nail file, and a 500 dollar chair with more features than you could ever imagine (23, yea, thats a hard number to imagine), and walls that you can stick pins to. This is my place, this is where i "buisness" so to speak. Noone can tell that my pants rise up half way over my calf when i sit down, nor that my shoes are off and i have ankle socks on, nor that i am not doing any work at all. Yes sir, many a good blog will happen in this place.

I start work tomorrow, so today is all about preparing to kiss a serious amount of ass. I am excited to see The Chang again, wondering around aimlessly mumbling quietly to himself how much smarter he is than everyone else; "smarter than you, smarter than you, way the hell smarter than you.... ect." Thats why he walks so slow, there are alot of dumb people here that he has to note how much smarter than them he is, its very time consuming. I am also excited to see Bill again, my supervisor. Bill is an engineering warlord, most notably for his ability to get things done even know he never seems to be doing anything. By far the best conversation i have had with him was about the guy who potentially washes his hands BEFORE he goes to the bathroom. I told him i would be sure to double my already outlandish amounts of bathroom breaks during the day and begin to study everyones shoes, so i can find this person. He is still at large. ps, in the buisness world, a conversation that could be summed up in the previous 2 sentances honestly took 45 minutes to have. Bill is an expert at dragging out a conversation that could honestly be 2 minutes. you have to, its survival. othe second you see an oppertunity to strike up a friendly conversation with a co-worker, weather it be about obsessive compulsive bathroom breaks or wanting to sail around the world... or even the color green vs. red in coolness at christmas.... you have to strike fast. If everything goes well normally one thing will lead to another and you take it to the water cooler, where you inevitably will spend an hour talking about The Chang and the consistency of water and how to avoid "wife wrath" as they call it.

I realize this is a long blog. Normally they will be shorter, but today since i really honestly have nothing to do, i got alittle carried away. I hope you all enjoy your day at school today, i must say it would be smart to change your major now and stay in school as long as you can.

Good luck! I really tried to think of like a catch line to put at the end of these things. I will get it.