dear paper jam

dear paper jam,
lets make it official, im going to print a picture of my foot in your printer ass and then when it most deffinatly jams, i will have effectively jammed my foot in your printer ass. maybe i will just print a picture of a strawberry, because then it could be a strawberry paper jam and possibly useful for a sandwich. if i printed a picture of the phish logo i think that would just be redundant, but still another way you can use the word jam. if you [the printer/jerk] can tell exactally where the jam is, and then tell me the steps to take to remove it, why cant you [the printer/peter francis geraci] just do it yourself [the printer/fritz benwallah]? why do you [the printer/im killing this joke] jam? are you [the printer/yep, dead] trying something new? isnt it the same thing over and over again? why are you [asshole] trying something new when the old way works? why are you [!] using reason, your [printer] a printer [printer]?

if i were falling from a plane i would aim for you [i knew a moose once, it bit my sister, its name was Paul Rinter... or P. Rinter for convienence], printer.

love, jim