an odd number of bread slices? really?

just makes me feel awkward to get to the last few slices of bread (inside the pretentious inner bag, which is contained inside the less pretentious, and far easier to open and close, outer bag) and have it be an odd number.  I think back: "Did i eat a sandwich and forget to close off the other side? Did i snack on one single peice of bread without then being tempted by another peice, some cold-cuts and some mayo? Did i forget to fill the other slot in the toaster? Did the one sock monster get hungry for bread?!?!?!? If this is the case then i am pulling all of my money out of hanes and putting it in brownberry."

Then i thought "Wow, i have been thinking for a long time and its made me even more hungry, maybe i will make a triple layer sandwich and..... OH DEAR GOD" Its that damn triple decker sandwich that is throwing me off! (Moist-maker to all you friends fans out there).  Mystery solved.

I guess thinking pays off.  did any of this actually happen? that remains to be seen.  Its really not the validity of the story that you should be worried about, its the fact that you are still reading that you should seriously worry about.  Actually, if i was 100% truthful all the time i would have to revert to my childhood where i was more curious than cautious and the stories end in sentences like "and thats why i wont be using the wedding candle my parents used in their wedding, in my wedding" or "we learned very quickly not to stand behind the rocket-cars when igniting them, immediatly following that lesson was the next lesson; make sure that if you build a rocket car you make sure it stays on a straight course.... you know, you really have no buisness building a little rocket car out of balsa wood and pine-wood-derby tires because it isnt safe for anyone, not even if you are inside." or finally "so we never went in mr. yacklitch's yard again, not even my dad, not even for the best ball we owned. thats his now, and hes shown us reason not to believe otherwise."

Yea, childhood was phenominal for stories.  I always wonder if there can possibly be a better time in your life than when you arent really responsible for yourself because you just dont know.  When your an adult, you know, your just doing things against what you know, and that makes you an asshole.  Kids arent assholes, they cant be! that sucks. i can deffinatly be an asshole for things my mom talks about today with a smile on her face that i did when i was a kid.  Like throwing my lego structures down the stairs.  or coloring on the table.... or wetting the bed.

i dont know if my mom smiles about those things.... but they still are construed differently depending on how mature i am expected to be, and that is a drag-house.

well, and update on my life as i know it.  This is the video for our senior design project and its pretty cool, and its good evidence that i have learned something here in college since i couldnt do this before i got here, enjoy your week!

Ill give you a thermodynamics problem.

Given: Marvin Gaye Exists and Wrote Music

Assumptions: People can hear

Find: Percentage of living people on the earth right now that would never have even been close to being concieved without Marvin Gaye existing.

Thermal System Schematic:

Analysis:
(Change in Sexual Healing post Marvin Gaye+1(*Accounting for the birth of marvin gaye himself))*(likelyhood your dad could have impressed your mom without marvin gaye) /(Pre-existing Rate of baby-making)

=12% of worlds population that can hear, 4% of people cannot hear, caused by marvin gaye directly.

Conclusion:
Marvin gaye is solely responsible for about 1/6 of the earth. Thankyou marvin gaye, we now have to live in places like milwaukee where its cold 8 months out of the year because theres no more room anywhere else.

Secondary Conclusion:
Without marvin gaye, you probably would have a less fulfilling sexual experiance, if one at all. Not listening to Marvin Gaye is a recognized and effective form of birth control.

I mean, its that simple. Marvin Gaye. Singer, Song Writer, Relationship/Fertility Specialist.

Have a nice day. Please consider the consequences of making a marvin gaye pandora station.

ye ole smelly sock

well, school is of to a start, and as a 5th year student (who feels the need to tell everyone that he really isnt a 5th year student because he did an internship instead for a year, so stop looking at him like he is a slacker/drank too much in college/likes spending 30 g's a year to get clobbered with a balkan hammer) ive been here a long time. Technically i should be standing outside mccormick with my hand out and a sign around my neck that says "I am so much smarter than you, you should probably just give me all your money." but im not, because not even my mom thinks i am that smart, although she does think alot of nice things about me, so if your doubting me talk to her. 

Jim's "How too" of the day: How too get cut from the sophomore baseball team without totally sucking in the tryout. (sadly, based on a true story). Thats simple,  overthrow the kid trying out for catcher and drill the head coach in the head (heh, head coach, head, i didnt even mean to do that.... faulkner would have).  Problem solved, and extra credit for taking someone down with you. well done. you've just created yet another awkward relationship.

Now, there are easier ways to create awkward relationships.  heres one way. the next time you are introduced to someone (it has to be someone like your friends new girlfriend, so that she will be around you alot but not because she wants to be around you, just because your friend is there and now she has to hang out with you too), so next time you are introduced to your friend's new girlfriend;

your friend: "hey, betsey, this is my buddy jim"

jim: "hi betsey, i actually go by "the incinerator" because i lit bobby's last 2 girlfriends on fire, which bodes well for you because now he has to date you, but at the same time bodes poorly for you because on average, i will probably light you on fire within the next 2 months."

betsey (trying to be supportive of bobby's friend as to not piss off bobby, gosh betsey seems nice, i really would feel bad if i lit her on fire): "Oh, hah, fun! i love fire! gosh bobby you have great friends"

bobby (pissed): perverbial/quintessential "dude"

the incinerator: "Hah, oh, and when bobby tries to tell you later that i was just being weird and i have never lit any of his other girlfriends on fire, hes lieing.  hes just saying that because hes lonely because the last 2 girlfriends he has had have broken up with him because they got lit on fire.  but its a good thing you like fire tho, maybe we should date instead."

pause. silence.

the incinerator (to betsey, reaching in his jacket pocket): "you smoke?"

silence. (betsey looks horrified)

the incinerator: "ok guess not.  gotta go, nice meeting ya!"

Another pause, more silence. the incinerator leaves, lighting a cigarette and flicking still lit match into a nearby bush, lighting it on fire.

annnnnnd the next time you guys hang out should be awesome. and awkward.  you dont want to go out with jim, jims crazy.

have a nice week. smokey the bear says "dont play with fire"