I CRRRUSH you with HAMMER!!! (say it like arnold)

Before crushing things with hammers, a list of a few sure things in a time where "things," in thier literal sense, are generally indecisive about even menial things like "cream or sugar?"

1. if you are ever in a singing contest with a aretha franklin, you are going to lose.

2. you will not need physics 1 for anything, ever, if you dont plan on teaching it to more unsuspecting yet deserving non-science majors


3. the cord (extension, cable, phone, RCA, USB) will be one foot shorter than you need for your current situation. your headphones will be an equal amount too long.

4. your alarm clock goes under-appreciated for its uncanny ability to do exactally what you asked it to do 6 to 8 hours earlier, and its really confused with what you really want in your relationship

5. the person who "didnt get that email" actually did, but was unable to come up with anything better than "oh, i didnt get the email"

6. questions like "whats your favorite song?" require more time than allotted to answer

7. awkward silence makes you uncomfortable, even if you instigated it

8. look away/blink the second the clock turns to 11:11, noone has that kind of patience.

9. bite the orange tic-tac prematurely

10. 2 for 1 subway day is cheaper than 1 for 1 subway day

And now, a reflection of sorts.

Ok, barring the whole matrix philosophy that "we live in our own dream worlds, only to be freed from them into the real world, which is just another dream world in 'Matrix 4: We managed to make the same movie a 4th time, isnt it great? you went and saw it like an idiot!'", martin grammatica is alive and functioning right now. functioning poorly at best, but functioning. So, since we both clearly have nothing better to do than to write/read this blog, lets jump into what could be mr(s). grammatica's current life status. If he lives in the midwest then its 1:11am and he is most likely awake, having hurt himself celebrating actually falling asleep. holy crap dude, you gotta get less excited about stuff. when babies are born they can do like 4 things; breathe, cry alot, poop, and sleep.... so congratulations, babies dont even know they are attached to and in control of their own arms, but they are able to fall asleep.... so your accomplishments, although sincerely impressive, dont even outbid a 3 day old child for "stuff that impresses me"
youre going to have to come up with something more impressive than crying, breathing, or pooping yourself to really begin to turn heads, i know its a stretch, but give it the old kicker effort and spend 90% of practice dropping balls 3 feet and not even kicking them.

jim, why the hatred for martin gramm.... Ill tell you why. Go make an egg, right now, fry it up. We both agree that your ability to fry an egg warrants no real prize or the perverbial "cookie" so many smartasses lovingly offer you after you tell them something good you did, correct? Ok, so successfully fry an egg, put it on the plate, and hurt yourself celebrating. Hurt yourself so bad, that you will never be able to fry an egg at that level again. And another thing, if your going to ask a question with an obvious answer, then you probably should have kept your mouth shut to avoid sounding dumb.